Divorce and blended families

This week we talked about divorce and blended families. As human beings we should avoid getting divorced at least the situation is extremely required. It is important to know that when we start dating to someone, we should become best friends and know everything about the person. Sometimes, we think because we are in love everything is going to be ok. I am not agree with that because the couple not only should be in love, but know each other so the love can last for eternity. The fact that someone is in love it doesn't mean that this love last forever at least the person work things out every day. Love is the essence of the human being. However, if we don't nurture this love every day, it will die through time. Therefore, couples need to have time to nurture their love through different way as date once a week, help each other etc. However, there will be couple that will go through a divorce. In class I have learned that there are six stages of divorce. This stages are: emotional, legal, economic, co-parental, communities and psychic.

Emotional divorce involves a loss of trust, respect, and affection for each other. Rather than supporting each other, the spouses act in ways to hurt, to frustrate, to lower self-esteem. For this reason couple start being distant until they decide to live their lives.

Legal divorce, in which a court officially brings the marriage to an end. Therefore, the couple can live their own lives and if one of the find someone can remarry again.

Economic divorce involves settlement of the property. This part of the divorce is the one that people can get frustrated because they don't get what they want in most of the cases.

The co-parental divorce is experienced by those with children-about thirds all couples. Decisions be made about who will have custody, visitation rights, and continuing parental responsibilities. This part of the divorce is the most complicated because the parents use their children as weapons against each other or even fail to protect them from the conflict and bitterness of the struggle.

The community divorce means that each of the partners leaves one community of friends and relations and enters another. When people get divorced can be uncomfortable with some of the friends he or she shared with the former spouse, especially if there is a feeling that the friends were more sympathetic with the former spouse.

Last, the psychic divorce is the central separation that occurs-the individual must accept the disruption of the relationship and regular a sense of being an individual rather than a part of an intimate couple.

This stages tell us that divorce it is more complicated that we think. Therefore, we should avoid it. However, if divorce happens, there is still hope for those that want to find happiness again in their lives. I have gone through this situation and it is painful. However, I hope to find happiness in the future.

Pareting

Parenting is a great blessing that couples could have despite of the problems and the stresses that are involved. The great majority of those who are parents indicate that the experience has given them great satisfaction. Even when they lack some of the resources they would prefer to have. My grandmother had two children and she told me that she would love to have four instead. The reason that she could have more is because my grandmother and grandfather both were working to support my father and my aunt. They both worked very hard for their children. Parenting is a great blessing because it brings the best of both parents.  Now, I am going to go through the styles of parenting that I learned in class.

Authoritarian parenting this style approach maximum control and to expect unquestioning obedience. Children may perceive such parents as rejecting and as refusing to give them any autonomy. This style is not good for children because they grow up in an environment of fear. Children should have their free agency. However, parents are the ones to help make their right decisions by themselves.

Authoritative discipline this style is to put boundaries acceptable behavior with a warm, acceptable context. Children are likely to perceive such an atmosphere as one that encourages their autonomy, controls their behavior moderately, and allows them to express their opinio0ns and develop their won decision-making ability. This style is great because it creates confident in children's life. Children should grow up in a healthy environment where they can feel their parents love them through understanding their needs and help them to meet them.

Permissive parenting style is to minimize ay control. Children are encouraged to make their own decisions  and develop their independence with few or no parental constraints or guidance. This kind of parent is called " cool parents". This is style is not smart because children don't know how to face their lives because they don't have guidance to make good decisions in live. It is better to have parents that guide you and make you grow instead of having parents that leave their children make lousy decisions that they are going to regret in the long run.

Parenting is not easy job because it involves a lot of responsibilities and time. However, parenting is the most rewarded job in the long run. I know that there are some parents out there that have challenges with their children, but if they keep working with them, God will help them.

Moms working outside home

I really liked the two articles that I read in order to prepare for this class because many people think that women are giving up her mind for a mop, when moms choose motherhood over a full-time worker.  Also, in the article is mentioned that working women are more valuable to society than a homemaker moms who stay at home with their children rather than work outside home. A woman who decides to work outside instead of having children by choice, it will affect the society not only now, but in the future. The reason is because the birthrate will drop and this will lead a less productive society in the long run. Stay home moms is the most important job that any other job you can think of. The reason is because moms will lead next generation as mothers, fathers, public servants, writers and artists, scientists and business leaders – those whose development the future entirely depends upon. This was mentioned in the article that I am totally agreed.

I believe that women should have their degree in case that she needs to work outside because a major situation happens at home. These situations can be illness; husband lost his job, divorce, husband die. However, women should stay at home to teach their children to be the future generation. Once, their children are grown-up they come back to the workforce. Moms can apply their degree with their children to help them to go through school. As in the article is mentioned a stay home mom can be informed what is going on around the world without going outside and work.

challenge of communication

Communication is very important as human beings because if we communicate, we will avoid so many problems and misunderstanding. I remember when I was growing up that my parents had problems with communication and understanding each other. I was the one that I tried to be an example to both of them. However, it was not effective because my mother believed that she was not the problem. It was so frustrated for my brother and I to see my parents fighting most of the time. I have never had this problem because I believe that communication is very important in order to have harmony and happiness not only at home, but any type of environment we are in. Sometimes, it is not easy to communicate our feelings because we don't want to hurt others feelings. It has been a challenge for me to communicate what I feel to certain people in my life. I know these people don't want to see their reality. However, I like when my friends or love ones advise me because this makes me a better person. My conclusion is that we need to communicate more frequently and avoid texting constantly. There are times when people got hurt their feeling because their misunderstood a text. Heavenly Father wants us to be able to communicate to avoid hard feeling and disappointments. Therefore, communication is the key to have not only successful marriage, but good relationship with others around us that we love too. 

Family crisis

This week has been identified with this subject because as I was growing up my family had a lot of crises. I believe that we need to have crisis in order to progress and be closer to our Heavenly Father. Also, if we don't have crisis, we will die because our bodies need to experience stress in order to make changes in our lives. There are so many  types of family crisis that affect individual in different ways. As I said, my family had so many crisis in their lives that I was hard for me to help them every time. It is important to recognize when one of the members of the family creates that tension at home it is better to approach this member and try to help the best we can. In my case, I did not success with my mom because she never realized that she was the problem at home. I tried so hard to help her, but all my efforts were in vain to the point that my father started drinking alcohol. It was hard for my father to cope with everything at home. It was very sad for me to find out that my father started drinking because he couldn't  handle my mother. I believe if my mother would have changed, we would have avoid so many crisis at home. However, all these crisis made me grow quick and know keep trying not matter how difficult circumstances are.

intimacy in the marriage.

This week we have been discussed how important is to communicate how the couple feels about each other. It is not easy to figure it out how each other feel when they have intimacy. It is important that the couple talk about the experience and go from there. There are many cases where one of the spouse feel that intimacy is only physical need. However, intimacy is only more than that. Intimacy is where the couple become one and feel complete. It is a special moment because the couple can know each other better. Also, we discussed that when a couple is getting married should go through basic things. It is recommended that couple read some specific books in order to be prepared for the special moment. There are a lot of advises that newlyweds can learn to have not only great communication but great physical intimacy. However, marriage is more than intimacy. Marriage is understanding and support each not only in the good moments, but in the bad moments in our lives. Marriage is the key to be together as a family.

Pregnancies

This week we were discussing about when women get pregnant and all what they need to go through. Pregnancies are not easy to handle because women's bodies have some many hormonal changes and their bodies are constantly adjusting through those changes. It is hard to keep those emotions under control most of the time. For men, it is hard to understand what their wife are going through and they don't know how to help them. I think it is important that husbands support their wives through the whole pregnancy because their wives need that love and understanding. Another thing that I learned in class that when the day has come to have the baby the person next to the new mom is her husband. Moms want to be there. However, in this precious moment husband and wife need to share this amazing experience together. It is not one else experience only the couple experience. Also, we discussed that after the baby was born some husbands think that their wives don't love them anymore. This is not right. New mothers need to spend more time with the baby because it requires time to handle everything. It will be a great idea when husbands help wives with the new baby. They will realize how busy a mom can get. There are some cases where women don't care literally about their husband is only about their baby. In this case I will recommend that husbands need attention too. Therefore, it is important to have balance in the marriage so when hard times comes the couples are willing to work together. Having children is a wonderful experience and couples should be thrilled to help each other.

Dating and relationships

It is important that when we are dating we need to spend time in a variety of activities to see how we interact and react in different scenarios. This will help the couple to know each other better. Also, it is important the time that couple spend together. Time is an important factor in a relationship because the couple will know if they want to get married. Also, it is important to talk and be honest with each other. I know that it is hard when one of the person in the relationship doesn't tell everything before get married. Therefore, people before getting married need to put everything in the table so the other person can make a decision before getting married. Dating is a wonderful time where couple can know each other. However, it is hard to find the right one among so many choices.

Gender roles

This week in class we talk about the different roles that women and men performance in our  society. It is very interesting that some of the roles can be performance by men and women. Also, we learned in class that growing up feeling different it doesn't make different in our society. There are some guys that have a lot of qualities that women can have. This doesn't define a person because this type of behaviors. The most important is what the person can become. It is the same with women. I am very grateful to learn about these differences because it makes me realize that we are different and we need to love each other.

Culture and class influences

This week was great because we had the opportunity to discuss how the many different cultures influence the way people live. However, having different cultures help us to learn from others and grow as a person. I am from Spain and I have been 10 years in this country. I can see the differences between my country and this country. The most important for me is to be able to appreciate those differences. I believe that we are children of God and no matter where we come from we can learn from each other and all together become better people and society. Another point that we touched the different class that people belong. For me, class is not important factor that determine how you are. You can have a lot of money and live humbly helping other with the resources that we have. The most important no matter what class you belong you should help others around you. I don't have a lot of money, but if I see someone needs my help, I will help this person in a blink of the eyes. We never know when we are going to need that help too. Being grateful open many doors that makes us happy and satisfy.

Spending time with family

It is important to spend time with our families to reinforce those relations that are eternal. This weekend has been really great. The reason is because I got engaged to a wonderful man that makes me very happy. I met him ten years ago when I came here to the USA. After a year, we got married in the temple. Unfortunately, I decided to get divorce because so many things happened that I did not know how to handle. The main reason that the divorce happened is because I was not putting God first in my life. I was not spending time to read the scriptures, pray together, spend time etc... I was worried about other things instead to focus in my marriage and the willing of the Lord. However, after eight moths  I got divorced I wanted to change my life. As soon I decided to do the small things I realized that I still want to be with him. So, I talked to him ( Jorge) about my feelings. We decided to start dating again. Meanwhile, we were praying and fasting and going to the temple to know is the right thing to get back together and start a new life. We felt really good about it. Therefore, this weekend he proposed me. From this experience I learned to be strong spiritually and spend time with him and not worry about money as much. The lord will provide if we are doing our part. Also, this weekend was special because we enjoyed general conference. This time of the year makes me happy because I want to be edify through the spirit. I highly recommend  to ponder all of the messages that we listened to. These messages will help us to be better disciples of Christ.

Families are the most important union

This week I learned about the importance of the family and how the family can influence in having a better society. In these days, we can see that people are getting married in their late 20's because their priorities have changed. I remember when my grandmother used to tell me that people got married at early age and had a lot children. She couldn't have a lot of children because my grandfather did not make a lot of money even my grandmother was helping him out. She told me that she wish she could have four children instead of two. Children are a blessing in a couple life. It is not easy to raise children, but it is so worthy. Soon, I am going to get married and I cant wait to have children. I know they are a blessing. Right now, I have a calling in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter days Saints. I have called to serve in the nursery. It is a blessing to spend time every week with children between eighteen months and three years. I am learning a lot from them and also they love spending time with each other. Families are a blessing in our society because according to the way we teach the children we are going to have a great society.

Welcome to our blog site

This is the first time that I create a blog for one of my classes. I know that this blog is going to be very useful not only for me but for people out there that they are looking for family relations and how to interact with them.